#happiness – Part 1

Lately, I have struggled quite a bit with being happy or content.  While I know that Paul has taught us the secret of being content…

Phillipians 4:12-13 NIV “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

…knowing it and living it are 2 different things!

I believe the difference between being happy or being in a constant state of frustration isn’t dependent upon our circumstances, but on our perspective or paradigm in which we view the world.  Or as Paul said living life “through him who gives me strength.”

I recently learned that there are basically 2 different type of goals that we all operate by: Extrinsic and Intrinsic.  Extrinsic goals are for things like money, image or status.  Intrinsic goals are for things like personal growth, relationships and helping/serving others.  Studies have shown that most people who are driven by extrinsic goals are almost never happy (mostly based on circumstances and outside forces).  But in contrast, those who are driven by intrinsic goals are happy almost all the time no matter what their circumstances!  This intrigued me.  When I look at myself, I think, “There’s no way I’m so shallow as to have my main drivers be for things like money, image or status!”  But after further review, I realize those drivers or goals are buried further into me than I consciously even notice!

A good way to decipher what your drivers currently are is to ask yourself what your definition of a successful life would be.  Another way to find this out would be to ask yourself this: “At your funeral, what is it that you want people to say about you when you die?”  Do you want them to talk about the job you have, the house, the car?  My answer… No!  I want them to say “He loved Jesus and others with everything that he was!  He was rich in relationships and love!  He was a blessing to all he met.  A true light in the darkness!”  Now that would be a successful life!  And that success would not be based on circumstances, status or possessions!

So once I’ve decided that my goals should be intrinsic (not extrinsic), I can now be more intentional about how I live my life to that end!  Am I valuing family and relationships above my job or position?  If not, an adjustment needs to be made.  Actions speak louder than words.

So what are your internal motivators or driving goals?  Are they extrinsic or intrinsic?

Over the next 2 posts, I’m going to be looking in the Bible to see what God says about these goals or motivators.  This post will be focused on the Extrinsic goals and the next one will be focused on the Intrinsic goals.  The Bible definitely makes it clear that extrinsic goals are not God’s way to a full deep and abundant life!  Some verses are written out (copied and pasted) and others you will have to look up and read for yourself.  Check it out!

What does the Bible say about MONEY

Matthew 6:24 ESV

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

Matthew 19:24 ESV

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

Ecclesiastes 5:10 ESV

He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.

Mark 8:36 ESV

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?

What does the Bible say about IMAGE

Psalm 139:14

you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

1 Sam 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 Tim 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

What does the Bible say about STATUS

Mark 2:15-17

¹⁵ While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. ¹⁶ When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

¹⁷ On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

John 4:1-26

Samaritan woman at the well

Gal 2:11-21

Paul confronts Peter.